Mystical Kingdom of the Beast
by Moksgmol
Summary: Susan sees a painting and remembers all that she has forgotten and almost left behind. Inspired by Peter Ellenshaw's painting of the same name.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: _This piece of work was inspired by Peter Ellenshaw's painting, _Mystical Kingdom of the Beast_. The piece is beautiful, and I highly recommend googling it and checking it out before reading the following fanfiction._

Susan made her way to the train station, bundled tightly against the cold and wet, trying to protect the clothing she had adjusted to perfection underneath her coat. She was on her way to a party with classmates, and was rather hoping that she might catch the eye of a particular boy.

Her siblings had been decidedly grumpy to her about the whole deal in her mind; she just didn't understand how they could be so childish! Lucy had told her that she was prettier without the deep red lipstick; Ed had rolled his eyes when she past by him towards the hall closet in a whirl of skirts and perfume; and Peter had openly glowered when she left. In her opinion her sister simply didn't understand fashion and would eventually grow into it and her brothers were trying to be protective in their silly, overbearing way.

She was sick of all of them, really, but what she was really sick of was all this _Narnia_ business. It was almost an obsession for the three of them and she really couldn't understand it. It had, of course, been a marvelous idea once upon a time, especially as a distraction from the bombings and the blitz, and that long summer away from their house and parents. The thought of a place for them, where they ruled was as wondrous as it was ludicrous in retrospect; they were four children from Finchley, after all, not royalty of any sort! And the notion of talking animals and a lion for a king! How silly it all had been, really, and she was angry at her brothers at times for allowing Lucy to continue believing in such things. She should be learning about other pertinent matters such as make-up and proper clothing, and Susan couldn't understand why Peter was babying her. He needed to be doing some growing up himself and that included setting the right kind of example for their younger siblings.

A deep puddle of slushy snow had formed just before the busy crosswalk and she hung back a moment, waiting for the time to cross. She let her eyes and thoughts wander, and she realized that on the other side of the street was a store she had never noticed before, though it seemed, at the same time, to have always been there. It was an art store, paintings displayed in the glass front, and though Susan squinted the distance was too great to make much out.

There was the beep of a horn and she realized with a start that it was her turn to cross and that the car's driver was rather impatient with her standing on the side of the street staring seemingly into space. She felt embarrasement flush across her cheeks and she hurried to get across the road, not stopping until she had stepped up onto the far curb, panting slightly.

She looked up as she gained her breath back, her eyes still drawn to the artwork. She knew that she had best hurry up lest she be late but she couldn't help moving forwards towards the display. The shop was clearly closed and she somehow felt guilty about what she was doing, though she hardly knew why. How very queer and illogical of her! She tried to shake herself of the feeling and head determindly forward, but she couldn't help but cast a furtive glance at passerbys.

She reached the window, casting a glance over various pieces, before her eyes lit upon one and her breath caught. She pressed her palms against the glass, heedless of the marks her fingers would leave and the way she would have scolded Lucy or Edmund for such an act.

There was a castle on a hill in the dead of winter, snow swirling and dusting out the backdrop. Pine trees covered in snow blanketed the rocky mountains in turn. The painting was beautiful, and surely anyone else would have certainly agreed on this, but for Susan it touched something buried inside of her.

She felt a tug deep down inside - something she might have called magic once - and tears began to well in her eyes. Her shuddering breath left a fog on the glass but she didn't care; that beautiful castle in the painting had reminded her of a place so real that she didn't need the picture. She pressed her face up to the window, drinking the picture in through tear-blurred eyes and misty glass.

And suddenly she was sick of herself; she was the foolish one of the Pevensie children, not the beautiful and mature young women she had been striving so hard to be.

'Oh, Aslan, forgive me! Please forgive me,' was the whispered, choking sob. She stayed a moment where she was, her tears running off of her cheeks and down the cold glass. She half imagined that they would freeze, but this winter was nothing compared to that cold, first winter she had experienced in Narnia. 'Oh, please let them forgive me.'

And with that she turned and dashed across the street, ignoring the honking cars and angry shouts, forgoing her dinner plans, running to her house to the love of her siblings and racing to get back _home_.

_Well, I hope that you enjoyed this as much as I loved writing it. PLEASE go and check out the painting I mention at the beginning of this fic; it is absolutely one of the most gorgeous and inspiring pieces of art I have ever seen. I know that it doesn't quite look Cair Paravel in the painting but it definitely makes me think of Narnia. _

_Feedback would be wonderful, Moksgmol_


	2. Chapter 2

There was a startling bang as the front door was thrown open with enough force to bounce off the wall behind it. All three children – Peter brooding in an armchair, Edmund reading on the chesterfield, and Lucy relaxing on her belly in front of the fire, drawings of Narnia spread across the rug in front of her – jumped, their gazes leaping to find the source of the sound.

Susan stood in the doorjamb facing them, hair tangled and legs soaked from the knees down.

'Su?' Peter said with a concerned frown, half-rising from his seat.

But Lucy had noticed the tear tracks on her sister's face and beat him to it, 'Susan! What ever is the matter?' She scrambled up off of the floor faster than Peter could fully stand up and threw herself into her sister's arms.

Susan rocked back a little when Lucy hit her, stepping into the snow for balance, her arms encircling her younger sister but not returning the hug. Peter finished standing and moved forward, Ed shadowing him, but the oldest sibling hung back from actually making contact with either of his sisters.

'Oh, I don't deserve any of you!' Susan cried, her hands moving to urge Lucy away, 'You shouldn't be so kind when I've been so dreadful!' Lucy simply clung to Susan more tightly and it was now that Peter saw the tears that were flowing down his sister's face. He felt Edmund prod him forward but he didn't need the assistance; his feet were already moving.

'What are you talking about Su?' Lucy asked, her voice muffled in the front of Susan's coat. Susan just sobbed in response; they all knew that Lucy was lying, and rather poorly at that. They knew exactly what terrible actions the eldest Pevensie daughter was referring to.

Susan stopped trying to push them back, simply stood with her eyes closed for a moment, afraid that her nerve would abandon her. But then she recalled the beautiful painting she'd seen, remembered that wondrous kingdom, thought of _him_, and felt a rush of strength and resolve. So she took a deep breath and whispered, eyes still tightly clamped, her voice quaking, 'I'm so very, very sorry; I've been awful to all of you, and I've been untruthful and I'm not entirely sure why. I know that Narnia still exists, I don't know why I pretended to have forgotten!'

She was beginning to sound hysterical, and Lucy pulled slightly away to cut her off, removing her head from where it was buried in her sister's front to be sure that she was properly heard. 'Susan,' and she reached up a small hand to her sister's cheek, encouraging her with the touch to open her eyes, 'of course we forgive you. You would do the same for us. We found Narnia twice, and I don't know why you lost it, but I'm quite glad that it's found you again.'

Anything more Susan wanted to say – and there was so much more for she was sure that she could spend a lifetime or more with them and still not fully articulate everything she was feeling in this moment – was stopped right then as her throat constricted, her eyes welling anew with tears.

'Su,' came Peter's voice, rough with tears, and she snapped her head up to look at him, 'I'm sorry that we let you get so far away, and I'm sorry that we've been so hard on each other. Please know that I've only had all of your best interests in mind, even if I let my stubbornness get in the way sometimes. Forgive me for losing you, Susan.'

She opened her mouth to respond – to tell him that he had nothing to be sorry for at all and to stop being so ridiculous; that she loved him; that she loved them _all_ – but she found that she couldn't form any words. He seemed to understand her just as well, though; he always had. And to tell the truth, she had always understood him just as well. So she was pleased, though she expected it, when he leaned forward to hug her, trapping Lucy between them. The younger girl gave a contented sigh as she was crushed between their bodies, happy that everything was settling back into its rightful place. Edmund, never much a fan of hugs, reached out a hand to rest on his older sister's shoulder; he could feel her shaking softly beneath his palm and he gave her a comforting squeeze.

'Love you too, Su,' he said gruffly, not quite able to hide the emotion in his voice.

The four stayed like that a moment until there was a sudden rush of air around them. Rather than breaking apart as they may have once done when they were younger they simply clung to one another tighter as Lucy's drawings swirled madly about them. They weren't worried or panicked in the slightest. Rather, the four were excited and happier than they had been in what felt like a very long time.

They knew this feeling: this wonderful, amazing, _sensation_.

They were returning to Narnia.

_There; hope that you enjoyed! I don't think it's as good as the first part (it was originally intended to just be a one-shot), but you all gave such wonderful reviews that I felt obliged (and inspired!) to write some more on this. There's going to be at least one more chapter, and that will more than likely be the end of it. Again, thank you for the amazing reviews; more are, of course, always appreciated. They truly make my day! (and in this case, inspire me to write more, haha)_

_Ciao, Moksgmol_


	3. Chapter 3

The four stayed clinging to each other even as the whirling wind died down, their hair and clothes falling down against them once again. It was after what felt like a very long time of holding onto each that Lucy finally slipped out from between her siblings, backing up a bit, Edmund following quickly, both of them turning to look out at where they had ended up.

Susan and Peter stayed facing each other for a moment. Her eyes were squeezed firmly shut, her hands clenched tightly around the fabric of his shirt. He held her body to his own a little closer, filling in the space that Lucy had abandoned, before he gently pushed her back, tipping her chin up with a finger and calling her name softly. She opened her eyes ever so slightly, keeping her gaze on his chest. Peter could feel her trembling ever so slightly in his hold and pulled her close again. As she fell against him he took a moment to look out over the landscape.

The grass was tall, up around their knees, and the flowers, every colour of the rainbow, were dazzling. Lucy and Edmund were chasing each other about in glee, pollen clouds rising in their wake, laughing and tumbling. Edmund scooped up Lucy, who had tripped over something deep in the greenery, before she hit the ground and threw her into the air, catching her just in time and causing her to squeal with delight. Peter smiled at the sight until a voice interuppted his musings.

'Hello, High King Peter,' and the boy whipped his head around, shocked to see Aslan calmly sitting not ten feet from them, his tail swishing through the high grass, 'Hello Queen Susan.'

'Hullo Aslan,' Peter said, a little too shocked to address him with as much formality as he maybe should have. Susan simply pressed herself more firmly into her older brother; Peter could feel that his shirt was damp from her tears.

Aslan cocked his head to the side, a twinkle in his eyes, and Peter could have sworn that his lips quirked up in a half-smile.

'Now Peter, if you don't mind, I should like to speak to your sister privately a moment. If you wouldn't mind joining your other siblings?'

Peter complied, and though he knew that a talk with Aslan would be good for Susan it hurt him to pry himself away from her. After a comforting squeeze of her shoulder and a nod to Aslan he turned away from the pair. He paused a moment, taking a deep breath, before a smile threatened to spilt his face and he ran down the hill, colliding with Edmund, the two of them tumbling down the hillside with Lucy in tow.

Susan hadn't yet turned to face the lion; she kept her eyes on her toes instead. Aslan watched her brothers and sister playing for a moment before addressing her.

'Turn around,' he said in a comforting rumble, and she felt her feet responding, 'and look up at me.'

She did, her tear-coated eyes meeting his kind ones, his smile warming her from the inside out and encouraging a small one of her own.

'Come here child,' and she did, slowly at first, but then she ran to him, falling into him, burying her face and arms into his mane. He purred, deeply and comfortingly, covering the sounds of her sobbing.

Once she had cried herself into calmness she stood up, straightening her clothing and running a hand through her hair as she did so, before turning to face Aslan. She kept her eyes downcast and intertwined her fingers together, waiting for him to speak.

It eventually became apparent that he wasn't going to speak - he was waiting for her to - and so she gathered her courage before addressing him.

'I'm sorry Aslan,' she stopped there, unsure of how to go on.

The lion looked at her, completely serious, 'You lost me, Susan. You lost Narnia.'

She bobbed her head in response.

'I told you never to lose me again; I told you that you would never return to Narnia.' she nodded miserably again, 'I am willing to repeat the first, but as for the second, I stand by it.'

Her eyes widened in fear and she looked away briefly, back over her shoulder at her siblings, all of whom were playing happily in the fields.

'Oh, Aslan,' she breathed.

He held up a paw to halt her, 'Wait, my child. Neither will your brothers or sister; you are not in Narnia now, nor will any of you ever return there. It is not to be.'

She turned back to face him, a surprised sound escaping her lips.

The corner of his eyes crinkled, 'You lost me, and even your siblings couldn't save you,' his voice became serious at this pont, 'Never stop listening to them again Susan. They make you who you are, because you are not a single unit in this or any world. They are as much a part of you as you are of them.'

She nodded, tears once again pricking at the corners of her eyes, clenching the fabric of her skirt in her hands.

'You let me find you in the end, though it should not have had to come to that,' and his stern voice ended here, his tone lifting, 'But you finally listened, and now you are here.'

Susan spoke up at this point, noting that he was finished, 'Yes Alsan, but where is _here_?'

Aslan gave a laugh at this point, one that bubbled up right from his belly, '_My_ country; you are in my country Queen Susan.'

She looked up hopefully at his use of her former title.

He smiled down at her, 'Of course you are still a Queen; once a king or queen of Narnia, always a king or queen of Narnia. Now, this is not Narnia but you four shall still rule as you did in the Golden Age. I trust that you remember that now?'

She silently nodded, shamefaced, 'Yes Aslan. Please, please forgive me. Please allow me another chance to rule with my siblings. I need nothing more; not my silly parties or outfits.'

The great lion nodded solemnly, 'You are always welcome in my land.'

She gave him a very small, careful smile, which he returned wholeheartedly.

The lion then stood up, moving towards the girl and allowing her to wrap her arms around him again. 'Though I am sure that we will still have many parties where there shall be fancy clothing and many silly times.'

Susan chuckled into his fur at this. Alsan then pulled back.

'I have one last thing to show you, Queen Susan.'

She looked up at him, waiting for him to continue.

'I do believe that you will need a castle to rule in,' he looked over his shoulder and she followed his gaze.

There it was; that beautiful castle from the painting. She could almost imagine snow on the trees and swirling around the structure. She was, quite simply, speechless.

Alsan touched his nose to the back of her head, softly woofing into her hair.

'I told you it was I that found you,' and they fell silent for a time. 'Now come! We shall play with your brothers and sister!'

And he turned, and she chased him down the hill, and the play they had surpassed even that first romp of Aslan's reborn life.

Peter, Edmund and Lucy were pleased to have their sister back, the happiness from that more than their pleasure at coming to Aslan's country, though that pleased them very greatly.

Susan was just happy to have her family, to have Aslan, to have his country and to have the sun on her face.

Queen Susan the Gentle was just glad to be right where she should.

_Alright, I think that that's it! Not totally positive on the ending, and I plan on one last proof, but I really wanted to get it up because you guys have been waiting for so long! I just had midterms and my Grandmother was sick (she's just find now though), and I had a huge job interview that I'm still waiting to hear back about. Anyhow, I hope that you liked it and reviews would be wonderful (on that note the ones I've already been blessed with have been fantastic!)._

_Hope that you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!_

_Moksgmol_


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